


Can't Let You Go

by angellwings



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, One Shot, Prompt Fic, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22754617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings
Summary: Response to prompts: "I should have told you a long time ago." and "I don't believe you." [Brettsey] [oneshot]
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 12
Kudos: 132





	Can't Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** I have a prompt game going on my tumblr right now, and someone picked two they wanted to go together (For angst lol). They were: "I should have told you a long time ago" and "I don't believe you". Most of the other prompts produced things of 1,500 words or less, this one almost went to 3K lol. When something surpasses 2,000 words, I consider it a one shot. So here you go, new Brettsey one shot!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> angellwings
> 
> * * *

* * *

"'Cause we belong together now, yeah,

Forever united here somehow, yeah,

You got a piece of me,

And honestly,

My life would suck without you."

-"My Life Would Suck Without You" by Kelly Clarkson

* * *

Well, he made a fucking mess of this. Of everything.

He waited too long to tell Brett how he feels. Just barely a week too long. They'd been dancing around it for months. Their timing was never right at first and then for a while he wasn't sure if she felt what he did. Instead of admitting anything to each other, they'd been finding every excuse they could to be alone. It was the coward's way out, but it worked. Or he thought it did. It might be a little slow, but at least it was movement.

Finally, they'd gotten to the point where they stopped coming up with excuses. It became "Are you doing anything after shift? I have the morning free." No qualifiers or favors tacked on to the question. Just a request for quality time. It didn't even matter what they did or where they went. Sylvie was a great partner for doing nothing in particular. He just liked to hear her talk and be around her.

Oh, what a difference a week makes.

Last week they sat in his truck and talked about anything and everything. Now she refused to even look at him. To be honest, he didn't blame her. He should have warned her Gabby was coming in for a visit. He should have made it clearer to Gabby that he'd moved on. He should have remembered he had plans with Brett that needed to be rearranged.

He should've.

He should've.

He should've.

But he didn't. Not until it was too late, anyway.

The look on her face when Gabby answered the door at the loft killed him. It was burned into the backs of his eyelids. He saw it every time he closed his eyes.

That morning, he arrived home to find Gabby waiting outside in her rental car. He invited her up for coffee and planned to have a talk but Sylvie arrived before he could. Since he hadn't had a chance to talk to Gabby about where they stood the impression she gave Sylvie did not look good for him.

"Oh, sorry," Gabby said as she looked between them. "Did you guys have plans?"

"No," Brett lied, pasting on a perfect smile that held more kindness than he deserved. "No, it's fine. It's just follow up on a work thing. We can catch up later." She hugged Gabby warmly, genuinely. "It's so good to see you again. I'm glad you're not staying away for too long. How long are you in town?"

"A weekend," she answered glancing back at Casey. "Maybe longer, depending."

The panic that bloomed in his chest refused to go away. Every moment it coiled more tightly than before. The gist of the thoughts that bounced around in his head were: Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Not eloquent, but accurate.

"Ah, okay, well good," Brett replied, pulling out of the hug and patting Gabby's back. "You better show up at Molly's before you leave."

"Of course," Gabby agreed. "I'll text you."

"Great." Her eyes drifted from Gabby to Casey and the difference was stark. There was no anger. Just indifference. As if the last few months had never happened. "I'll talk to you both later."

He nodded through a constricted gulp as Gabby closed the door. He felt like that door wasn't just closing on the hallway. It was closing on his entire future. It wasn't until it was shut and locked again that he realized what that meant.

He was in love with Sylvie Brett.

It wasn't exactly the best time to have an epiphany. He should have had that epiphany a week ago while he was sitting in his truck with Brett - happier than he'd been in ages.

The memory of Brett laughing with him hit him hard in the chest and, not even five minutes after she left the loft, he was having a heart to heart with Gabby. Clear closure this time. No loose interpretation of your tent or mine. No teasing another possible hookup. It was hard. Painful. Awkward, even. Especially after he slipped up and mentioned Brett. But she got it. She understood. He could tell it wasn't what she expected but she wasn't fighting him on it. She wasn't yelling at him or freezing him out. She simply smiled sadly and patted his arm.

"I'm happy for you," Gabby said with a warm smile and sad eyes. "But I gotta tell you, Casey, you really fucked up."

He snorted through a sardonic chuckle. "I'm aware."

"I'll get out of your hair so you can figure out how to fix this with Brett," she told him with a teasing smirk and a shake of her head. "You really should have given her a heads up that I was coming. I mean I called you last week, you idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, and I was going to but then...I got distracted."

She laughed quietly at him and rolled her eyes. "By Brett?"

He opted not to answer and nervously scratched the back of his neck instead. He wasn't sure this was the kind of conversation he wanted to have with his ex-wife.

"Yeah, I got it. I'll get out of here," Gabby said with a knowing grin. "And, uh, I'll be heading back on Monday. So, if I don't see you before then...I hope you'll be happy, Matt. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Gabby. I hope you'll be happy too." He meant it. Always would. They weren't meant to be but he still cared about her - still wanted only good things for her.

And then she left. The door shutting behind her felt different than when the door shut behind Brett. This time it felt freeing, not suffocating. They should have had that talk last time she was in town. It would have saved him a lot of stress in the months since she left again. He probably could have discerned his feelings for Brett sooner if he had.

Another should've. Could have bungled this any worse?

Once Gabby was gone, Matt grabbed his keys, his coat, and his wallet and raced out the door. He hoped Brett went home. He called her to find out but she wasn't answering. He parked outside her building and pressed the buzzer by the door.

"Who is it?"

Foster, not Brett. "It's Casey. Is Sylvie there?"

She paused and before she even answered he knew she was lying. "No."

He sighs and presses the buzzer again. "Can you tell her I'm sorry? I need to talk to her, Foster. It's important. Can you let me up?"

Another pause and then "I absolutely will not let you up." Her voice sounded louder than it needed to be but that didn't matter. He was about to beg her again when the lock clicked. His eyes narrowed on the intercom but he wasn't going to question it. He ripped open the door and ran up the stairs.

He knocked on the door insistently. Not stopping till someone answered.

Foster opened it and smiled weakly at him. "I told her I sent you away. She's pretty upset. But somehow I feel like she doesn't have the whole story."

"She doesn't but...how-how do you know that?" Matt asked her nervously.

"Because I see the way you look at her, idiot," Foster replied with a roll of her eyes. "Anyone can see you're smitten, and I don't care who comes back out of the blue-Kyle, Dawson, someone else I don't know about- that's not going to change. So, you have one chance, Casey. Go fix whatever the hell it is you did."

She opens the door wider and motions him toward Sylvie's closed bedroom door.

"Good luck."

He took a deep fortifying breath and knocked softly. "Sylvie?"

He heard shuffling on the other side of the door for several minutes before it opened hesitantly. Once she stepped into the doorway, he knew immediately why it took her a few minutes to open the door. She'd tried to hide her tears from him. She'd done a fairly good job. There was no smudged make up or tear stains, but she couldn't hide the glassy sheen to her eyes or the way her upper and lower eyelids were a bit puffy and swollen.

"Matt? What are you doing here? Dawson's in town you should-"

"I'm exactly where I want to be, Sylvie," he stated, cutting her off. Maybe interrupting her was a bit rude, but he couldn't stand there and let her assume history was repeating itself.

She gave him a stern look and laughed darkly. "Right. Are you sure about that?"

"Yes," He declared. "There's no one else I'd rather spend time with. I promise. Gabby is in the past. I want her to be happy, but there's no way that I could play a part in her happiness any longer. And she doesn't play a part in mine. But you…" He took a breath and then met her eyes head on. He needed her to see the honesty in his gaze. "Sylvie, you do play a part in my happiness. An essential one, and I should have told you a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't."

She bit her bottom lip as her brow furrowed. She wrenched her eyes away from him to study the floor. Her shoulders slumped and her arms crossed over her chest protectively. He visibly saw her emotional struggle to process his words. She was silent for several minutes. Long enough to very nearly send him into AFib.

When she spoke, she broke a little bit of his heart.

"I don't believe you."

"You have to believe me," he pleaded, trying his best to ignore the desperation he hears in his own voice.

"No, I don't. Matt, I just...I watched all the big milestones with you and Gabby go down, remember? I know how crazy about her you were. I don't see how I can compete." She froze, no doubt realizing she'd assumed they were talking about a romantic relationship. Not their friendship. She blushed in embarrassment and then continued. "Not that you and I are-I mean we haven't officially talked about-Oh forget it. It doesn't matter anymore."

"You don't have to compete with anyone," he replied, truthfully. "And yes, I was at one time crazy about Gabby, but I'm not any more. That's why you have to believe me. I'm head over ass crazy about you, Sylvie. I've just been too much of a coward to say it outloud."

She stared at him with a reluctant narrowed gaze. She looked as though she wanted to reply but she wasn't sure she should. She squared her shoulders and gathered her strength. Her next words dripped with fear and vulnerability. His heart lurched in his chest and his hands itched to hold her at the sound of it.

"Matt, I-I'm crazy about you too, but I can't be second best. I won't be the person you settle for just because you can't have her," she confessed softly. So soft that he almost didn't hear it.

"You aren't second best. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Sylvie, ...I love you. I love you so much that when you walked away from my apartment earlier I saw my entire future flash before my eyes and I gotta tell you, without you it _sucked_."

"You love me?" She was repeating it to herself but it sounded like a question. Like she was repeating it because she suspected she might have imagined it. He hated that he didn't realize the magnitude of what he felt sooner. That doubt was his fault. She continued to repeat his words and it continued to hurt. "You saw me in your future?" Brett asked, her wide eyes looking up at him with hope and doubt all at once.

He nodded and dared to step closer. She didn't back away. He took that as a good sign. "Every moment of it, yeah," he answers.

He reached toward her and took her hands in his. He breathed a sigh of relief when she let him. They've never really done this before but it felt like they had. Is that strange? Her hands fit so perfectly in his that they must have done this before. Yet, he knew they hadn't.

She didn't say anything else so he felt the need to explain further. "Look, after you left Gabby and I talked and she's leaving on Monday. She's not sticking around, no matter what impression she gave. My plan was to tell you she was coming to visit and rearrange our plans but then, I don't know, I just kept spending time with you and when I'm with you I don't think about much else. So, this whole thing is my fault and I never meant for it to hurt you. I don't want you feeling like Gabby could drop in and come between us at any moment. She can't. No one can. When I say I love you, I mean it like I never have before. And maybe you don't believe me right now, that's understandable. I probably wouldn't either, but can you give me time to prove it? Please?"

"You and Gabby talked and she's leaving on Monday." More repeating, but this time it didn't sound like a question. He ignored his frustration at her not answering his question and tried to focus on the present. "What did you tell her?"

"That I've moved on. That I hope she would too. I told her I found someone else. I...told her about you," he answered truthfully.

"Me? But, Matt, you can't take that back now. I mean, that's going to change the dynamic between the two of you, between her and me - everything. Are you sure that you-"

"Good," Matt interrupted. "I want it to. I want things to change. It can only be for the better."

The concerned furrow in her brow eased and, for the first time since she opened her bedroom door, she smiled. It was faint, but he saw the corner of her lips tick upward. He knew he did.

"If you're wanting to prove it to me then that's a pretty solid start," she told him as her face continued to brighten. Her shoulders straightened and she leaned toward him as her faint smile grew larger and a blush spread across her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Matt. For doubting you, for trying to hide from you. I-I've been insecure about whatever we've been doing since the very beginning. We've known each other for a long time and then our pasts are so intertwined it just felt...messy, I guess. I wasn't sure you'd go there and I didn't want to go there alone so I kept my distance-or tried to." She stopped to chuckle dryly at herself for a moment. "I didn't really do a very good job of that, to be honest."

"We were on the exact same page," Matt replied, releasing one of her hands so he could reach up and tuck a strand of her soft golden hair behind her ear. "I worried about all of that too but I liked spending time with you too much to put too much effort into preventing anything."

"I'd like to state for the official record," Sylvie said as she used the hold on his hand to tug him over the threshold of her bedroom door. "That you don't have to prove anything to me. Not after this. After coming over here and telling me how you feel and talking to Gabby-I may not have believed you when I first opened my door but I do now."

"You do?" Now he's the one repeating things out of shock and disbelief.

"I do," she confirmed.

Her hand released his and then both of her arms hesitantly went around his neck.

"I love you too, Matt," she declared with a nervous gulp. "If I didn't then finding Gabby at the loft today wouldn't have hurt as much as it did. I really thought I'd lost you before we even had a chance to try. That was the worst part. So, if this is it, if this is our chance to see how far we can go then I-I can't give it up. I can't let my fear take it away from me. I love you and I trust you. More than anyone else."

He let out a breath he'd had no idea he was holding. "That's a relief."

Her eyes welled up with tears but there was joy in them this time. She laughed and held him tighter as his arms finally went around her as well.

"I'm pretty sure this is the part where you kiss me," she declared with a hopeful smile.

"Just pretty sure, huh?" He asked teasingly.

"Matthew Casey, if you don't kiss me after all of this then I-"

He cut off her sentence by capturing her lips with his. Like he was really going to give up the opportunity to kiss her? Not a chance in hell. If this first kiss led to him closing her bedroom door behind them and leading her over to her bed then that was an opportunity he wasn't going to miss either. They had held themselves back from each other for far too long.

They weren't doing that anymore.

Sylvie Brett is his present and his future. He was never going to let her doubt that again.

Never again.


End file.
